It's 11.30 PM at night and for me the day has just ended at
my office. On my way back, lot of questions keep pounding on my head regarding
work. Where do I go from here? Where is my career heading? What kind of career
have I chosen? Had I been in some other PSU firm, I would have enjoyed various
perks and a 9 to 6 timeline. Why am I working even on holidays? Why is no
proper timeline being laid out for work? Questions sometimes have no end when
you let them come freely. Just when another question was seeking way to my
mind, my cell phone rang. This time it was from my best pal. Aditya, a mechie
techie from IIT who had found solace from a hectic Indian work schedule and
found his heaven in GM, USA. I pick up the call and an uncomfortable voice of
Adi greets me asking me how am I? To which I posed another question as to what
happened. A 10 second silence followed and then the reply came from him saying
"Kins, am coming to India tomorrow. Don't ask me any questions. I'll
tell you when I arrive." I agree to it and end the call. Questions again
started pounding my head. This time it was not about me but about Aditya. What
might have happened? Is he laid off from job? Or is it that he has decided to
come back to India out of some compulsion at home? Whatever be it, he needs me
at this time. I decide to take an off the next day. Me and Adi have always been
there with each other since childhood. Our friendship began when we were mere 5
year old kids. I visited my Grandma's place every year in Hyderabad during my
school time vacations. Adi and family were our neighbours in Hyderabad. And
thus from cricket matches to weekend movies to evening walkouts, we had been
together during our vacations till we finished our junior college. After which
Adi got into IIT Kanpur and my grandma shifted to Vizag with my uncle. Since
then we hardly met. 2 years back, thanks to Orkut that I found him. we
exchanged our numbers. Two years later, I get a call from him. Though it was
worrisome, I was happy that I was meeting him after a long time. It was 1 AM at
night and I had just reached home. Here comes another call from Adi. I pick the
call.
Me: Yeah tell me.
Adi: Forgot to ask you. Are you available for next 4 days?
Me: I just have some work in office which I will finish by
tomorrow. But why?
Adi: Listen. Take a 4 day off and pack your bags and come
down to the domestic airport. Give me your email id and I will mail you your
tickets.
Me: But why? Everything all right?
Adi: I'll tell you what happened when I come down tomorrow
night. Just do it so. I need you badly. SMS me your Email Id.
Me: Ok
He hung up the phone leaving me puzzled. What next? How do I
ask for leaves? What do i say at home? Is it necessary? For once I close my
eyes and take a decision. I SMSed my e mail Id to him and told my parents that
I have one of my friend's wedding in Rajasthan and so I would be going there
for 4 days. As usual, parents first give you a good hearing and then ask you to
come back safe. I close my eyes wondering what's in store for me now. I refuse
to think anything negative and sleep for that night. The next morning, I pack
my bags and leave for office. As soon as I reach office, I ask my boss that I
need a two day leave and the same reason that I have to go for my cousin's
wedding. I thought I will extend my leave for an additional 2 days after I
reach my destination. My boss agreed and here was me finishing my work at a
rocket speed. I was done for the day and left office in the evening at sharp 7
PM. Something that i dreamt of for many years was now coming true. I rush home,
have a quick bath and a light dinner, pick my bag and leave for the domestic
airport. 2 hours later I reach the airport. I just forgot to take a printout of
my ticket. I call up Adi again telling him that I forgot to take a printout. He
asked me to check my phone for an SMS of the flight ticket. I finally could
take a deep breath. I proceed further with my SMS, reach the Jet Airways check
in counter and produce my SMS. He gave me my boarding pass and tagged my
luggage. It was then I realised that I was heading for Hyderabad. I pass
through the security check and reach the passengers lobby. I saw Adi waiting
for me at the nearby bar counter. A perfect welcome for a long awaited friend.
I run towards him with my bag pack and hug him. He hugged me tightly and wept.
I asked him, what happened?
Adi: "Mom is no
more."
I place my hand over his shoulder
Me: "I am sorry. But she was a lovely lady. When did
this happen?"
Adi: "Yesterday evening. I don't know what to do."
Me: "Relax. Me there. Tell me If I can be of any help
to you"
Adi: "Only you can help me out."
Me: "Sure. Tell me how"
Adi called a firang lady sitting in the passenger's lounge
with her baby. She arrived with this cute soft about 1 year old baby boy of
her. Adi introduced me to her.
Adi: "Meet her, she is my wife, Jemma and that's my
kid, Robin"
I with my awestruck face kept on looking at both. Didn't
know what to say but just managed to ask him one question. How?
Adi: "After I went to states, I met her in my office.
We both liked each other and got married to each other 3 years ago."
Me: "Does uncle know this?"
Adi: "Yeah"
Me: "What did he say?"
Adi: "Me and dad don't talk to each other any
more"
Me: "Since when?"
Adi: "Since past 3 years. Since I got married"
Me: "What do you want me to do now?"
Adi: "Dude, can you be an ice breaker between me and
dad? I know there is no one for him now. I just want to be there for him."
Me: "Sure. I'll try. I don't know what to say at this
moment and how to talk to your father. But I'll surely try."
For the first time since i met him at airport, I could see
Adi smile. To give you a glimpse of Adi's family, here are some facts. Born in
a traditional South Indian Brahmin family. Father a PWD engineer and mother a
noble housewife. Adi was a scholar throughout his academic life. Topper in
school, amongst the top 50 rankers in JEE (Joint Entrance Examination held for
IITs). Done his MBA from FMS Delhi. A lovable son of a traditional Telugu
Brahmin Family.
The announcement is made for our flight and I pick up Adi's
baby and all 3 of us leave to board our flight. For the next one hour, Adi
recited his entire journey till now. How Jemma has added a new meaning to his
life. Our childhood memories and many more memories of him and his mother gets
shared during the one hour flight. Off course his son liked me a lot so gave me
a taste of his urine in our first meet in flight.
We land in Hyderabad and book a cab to our home. On our way
back in cab, me and Adi recalled many of the instances and shared it with
Jemma. The ground where we played cricket together is now a home to residential
complex. The steel factory that often made noises has now been modernised. The
terrace where we spent our evenings watching flights landings has now added one
more floor. The airport has now been shifted to the outskirts. Rose buds high
school where Adi completed his 10th standard has now added higher secondary
education. It took 1 hour for us to reach home. I paid the Taxi fare and we
four had just reached our home. Adi had a mixed reaction when he saw his home
after 3 long years. He didn't know how to react. While I was opening the gate,
Adi's father and uncle came out running towards the gate. They asked us to
wait. I was holding Adi's son. His uncle said, "You are not allowed in
here. Go find a hotel and stay there until the funeral is over." I held
Adi's shoulder and controlled him before he could break down. I intervened and
asked his uncle, "Then why did you call him here?" To which his uncle
replied, "We just informed him and never expected him here. Anyways we
will tell you the address of the funeral that will happen tomorrow morning and
your friend can reach there directly and stand far and see the funeral."
Adi took me aside for a moment and told me to stay at his place and look after
the requirements of the funeral as I was still considered as a brahmin. I went
ahead and asked Adi's father that if i could stay here and if I could be of any
help to them. His father stood still like a rock and said nothing. In the
meanwhile his uncle intervened and said "No need. We have people here to
help us." I was shattered after hearing this. Why should I come for this
humiliation and why should a person come all the way from other country just to
hear this. We had no answers. Adi kept on looking at his father with a sorry
face and his father kept on avoiding eye contact. After 15 minutes of
discussion, we were heading nowhere. Adi said, "Let's leave and find a
hotel for ourselves." I agreed to it.
On our way back in the same cab, Adi sat beside jemma and
wept like a baby. Jemma consoled him, just like Adi's mother. I, on the other
hand, sat in the front and kept on wondering that Adi has made the right
choice. Once in our talks, he said that he wants to marry a woman who
understands a family and takes care of it just like his mother. Now, I was
seeing his wish turn true. I was happy for him. Also on the other hand things
kept on pounding my head. We keep on talking change in election rallies, in
leadership summits, in local trains and in office hours. Everything around us
is changing rapidly. The world has changed. Times have changed. Berlin wall no
more exists. India has opened its gates to globalisation. Pay scales have
changed. Education has changed. Ministers too change every day. Even Poonam
pandey has changed. But what hasn't changed is an Indian home. We still live in
18th century and proudly claim that this is our lifestyle. For one moment, I
felt ashamed of my caste and stupid religious beliefs. Something that couldn't
unite a father and son at the toughest time doesn't mean anything to me. But it
was the stupidity that the elder generations chose to practice and live in. And
the legacy passed on from generations to generations. Maybe things here are
meant to be this way. In the meanwhile, we reach Hotel Ramada Palace. We check
in to our room. Jemma went into freshen up. I and Adi went out for a smoke with
his baby. While smoking, Adi asked me to call up his home and ask for the
funeral venue. It was already 12.30 PM at night. I somehow dared to call his
father on his cell. Adi asked me to keep the phone on speaker. His father
picked up my call.
Me: "Uncle, it's Kiran here. I just wanted to know
where is the funeral."
Adi's uncle snatched the phone from his father and said
"It's at Sanathnagar and in the morning at 6 AM. Ask your friend to be
away from the crowd. We are still brahmins. And ask his wife to stay at hotel.
Women are not allowed at funerals."
He said this and hung up the phone. I could see tears
dropping from Adi's eyes. I stubbed my cigarette and took his baby on my
shoulders. He placed his hand on my back and said "Sorry mate." I
just looked at him and winked and smiled. He felt much lighter after the wink.
Jemma called us in. No one was in mood to have food. Jemma fed the baby with
some milk in a bottle and we kept on talking the whole night. I came to know
about Jemma. She was an abandoned child of divorced parents. She brought
herself up after her parents left her. No wonder, why she knows so much about
the true family values. I felt sorry for the elders of Adi's family. They
couldn't see an ideal couple and the best family ever. All they chose to see
was the past they lived in. Not the future that we live in. It was morning 4
AM. We all had a quick bath. I called up one of my friend and asked him for a
vehicle. He agreed to it. Adi and I got dressed up in white kurta pyjamas.
Jemma got dressed up in white salwar kameez. The little boy had his share of
colourful dress. In the meanwhile, the car was awaiting us at the gate. We got
down and reached the vehicle. It was 5 30 AM. I sat on the driver's seat. Adi
and family sat behind as I drove to our destination. I stopped the car 100
meters away from the funeral venue and asked Jemma and kid to stay in the car.
I and Adi stood at the gate waiting for the body to arrive. We were not allowed
in. But Adi wanted to see his mother for the last time. And the only place where
it could happen was at the gate. 10 minutes later the body arrived. Adi kept on
looking at his father. His father, for the first time since Adi arrived in
India looked at him. Adi tried to get close to the body and touch her mother's
feet. His uncle denied the permission. Adi, helplessly looked at me and hugged
me. He broke down. I could feel the pain. Tears rolled down on my cheeks too.
He said, "I couldn't even do the last rites for my mother. What good am I
doing to my family?" I didn't know what to say. I just hugged him again
and he wept like a baby. Unusual to see a young man cry. Soon we saw the pyre
lit up and Adi's father broke down as the body was burnt. An emotional moment
that couldn't be held back by anyone. We saw everybody leaving except Adi's
father. He sat down near the ash, collecting the bones and ash of her mother.
After this, his father started walking towards the gate to leave home. We
didn't expect him to talk to us and we too started leaving. His father called
me. As I went near him he said, "Relatives will be leaving today by
afternoon. Ask your friend and his family to come down home in the evening. I
need to tell him something." He told this and left. I asked him if i could
drop him home. He denied pointing towards his scooter parked by the gate. I
reached the car and told him this. He was happy.
We both saw his father sitting on his scooter and riding
back home. The same scooter on which me and Adi played on when we were 5 years
old. I was the pillion and he sat on the rider's seat and we both sung
"HUMARA BAJAJ" jingle on it. We got back to the hotel and freshened
ourselves up again. Our breakfast was awaiting for us. We shared some light
moments. Adi and his wife shared some funny incidents that happened with them
in the past 3 years. Adi was excited about the evening meet with his father.
Even Jemma was. We took a nap in the meanwhile and it was 4 PM. All of us got
dressed up. The highlight here was Jemma's dressing sense. She wore a peacock
blue pattu saaree with jhumkas in her ears and bindi on her forehead. Her long
hair was left untied. Adi kissed her on the forehead and said, "you never
looked so gorgeous." In fact she was looking very gorgeous. A firang
dressed up in a desi attire. The gap between India and USA was bridged up by
Jemma. But the gap between a father and son who lived in the same home was
still left uncovered. We booked a cab to his home at 6 PM. Amidst the traffic
snarls, honking and polluted streets, the cab crawled on roads. Finally after 1
1/2 hours we reached Adi's home. I opened the gate and rang the doorbell. His
father in lungi opened the door and asked me to come in. I passed on the same
message to him. His father then said, "Ask you friend and his wife to feel
comfortable on sofa." I looked at Adi and he got the message. His father
then left the living room and went into his bedroom. We all looked at each
other and made some puzzled faces. Uncle arrived with a Jack Daniels bottle and
placed it on the dining table. He said, "Ask your friend if he can join
me?" I looked at him and he nodded in negative. He stood up and said,
"Paa, Why do you want to drink today? What will Maa think?" He took
two glasses from the showcase, poured in 60 ML of scotch whisky and added some
ice to it. He said, "Had she been alive today, she wouldn't have allowed
me to have a drink. I had kept this bottle for your marriage. I thought I’ll
sneak a permission from your mother to have a drink for the first and last time
on the night of your marriage. You never gave me that chance." He then raised the glass towards Adi's
mother's photograph and said "Your son has come." Adi looked at his
dad as he gulped in the scotch. Adi then said, "I am your son too."
His father poured in another 60 ML and repeated the ice and replied, "No
you are not. I need to tell you something."
"3 years. That's the time we waited for you to be born.
You arrived with your first cry. I smiled with my first tears, holding you in
my hands. The first time ever, I felt complete. The first time ever I felt as a
father. Your cry made me realise that am a father."
"You won't remember your first steps. You tried to
walk, holding the walls. Your mom scolded me for not buying a camera. I shed
off some of the savings. Just to buy a camera and capture your first steps and
show you when you turn big. Your growth made me realise that am a father."
"You remember your first day of school. You were
reluctant to go to school, until I dropped you till school. I again shed my
savings and postponed my plans to buy a big home. I bought a scooter, just to
say good bye to you at your school gate. Your smile made me realise that I am a
father."
"You remember the ranks you scored in your school time.
Your teachers called me to school and told me that you have a very talented
son. I was proud. Your success made me realise that I am a father."
"You remember the stubborn self who never gave up his
wish of riding a cycle. It was this that made me search for the best cycle in
town and buy you one. And every time you rode that cycle pressing that cycle
bell, I saw my childhood in it. That childishness made me realise that I am a
father."
"You remember the cricket match that you lost because
of your friend's damaged bat. You came back home throwing away that school bag
in a corner. You also kicked the TV stand. I bought a new Kokaburra bat for
you. Your anger made me realise that I am a father."
"Even your hard work to get into IIT Kanpur. The days
when I was awake with you making Tea for you at midnight. So that you shouldn't
miss the best college in the country. Your hard work, your pain, your gain,
your happiness and many more instances related to you made me feel that I am a
father."
"Each time you were successful, it made me feel that I
have done my job as a father. It was you who made me a father and it was me who
always wanted to give you the best. Even the day when you left for US, made me
feel that I have accomplished my job. But there was something pending that you
didn't know. Your marriage. For any father, his job is not done until he has
given his son the best life partner. You never gave me that chance. There is
some gap left somewhere. I feel so incomplete. The last and the best
responsibility as a father has been left incomplete. Had she lived this day,
she would have known how much you mean to me and why didn't I talk to you since
last 3 years. You won't understand the past we lived in."
He gulped in 60 ML of scotch, on the rocks. Actually he
rocked with his speech. For the first time, I was the audience and I liked a 60
year old man speak his heart out. This was rare. There was a pin drop silence
at the dining table. Adi's father again gulped in another peg. Looking his
father fumble, Adi rushed and held his dad. His father asked him to stay away.
Adi was shattered now.
He said, "Paa, you still angry with me?"
Uncle: "You still didn't understand. Bloody generation
X"
Adi: "There is something that I need to say. Something
that you haven't heard for years. Something that I kept with myself."
"3 years. That's the time we waited for you to call.
Your call arrived finally. But only to inform me that mom is no more. There was
a sense of hidden care in your voice. Your voice made me realise that I am a
son of a proud father."
"You remember the first photographs you clicked of mine
while I fumbled to walk? Mom showed me the photographs. And I often showed it
to my friends every time they came home. There was a sense of pride, whenever
people praised you. Your love made me realise that I am a son of a great
father."
"You remember the days when you dropped me at the
school gate waving me good bye? All my friends saw you and were jealous of me.
I stood proud because of your care. It was your care that made me realise that
I am a son of a great father."
"You remember the cycle that you baught for me with
gears? I rode that in our compound and made everyone see what my dad got for
me. I always had it in me that you are the best father in the world. And each
time I fulfilled my joy riding the cycle, it made me realise that I am a son to
a great father."
"You remember the bat I kissed and raised towards you
in audience when I won the cricket match for my team? I told the world that it
is because of my dad that I have won the match. And if he stays with me, I can
win the world. That sense of winning made me realise that I am a son of a great
father."
"You woke me up at midnights, stayed awake for me,
prepared tea for me and made me be amongst the best students in India. I always
shared these stories with my friends at IIT Kanpur. I even share it with my wife
till date. And every time someone says that I have a great father, it makes me
realise that I am a son of a great father."
"Each time I made you smile and made you feel proud, I
realised that I am a son. It was because of you that I came to know that I am a
son. Even on the day when I left for US, that pride of having a great father
besides me, was there in me. But there is something that I need to tell you.
Which I have kept it to myself. My marriage. A son is incomplete without the
feeling of making a father feel proud with his choice of life partner. You
always wanted to give me the best life partner. I always wanted to give you the
best daughter-in-law. You never gave me a chance. There is some gap left
somewhere. Even I feel incomplete. Had mom lived today, she would have known
what you meant for me all these years. Even I feel incomplete without you. I
couldn't understand the past you lived in and you couldn't understand the
future that we live in."
This time the son rocked. And that too without an on the
rocks drink. Adi's father was in tears. He came near to Adi and hugged him
tightly. By this time Jemma too was in tears. Jemma went down to Adi's father
and said, "Uncle, I don't know what is a family. I never had one. I
brought myself up, financed my studies, earned my livelihood and I never knew
what made me chose Adi as a life partner. Now I have the answer. God took away
my childhood joys and the parental love. Only to return it after my marriage. I
feel so lucky with you and your son on my side. I have a father, have my
husband, have my son. I feel complete with all you people around me. May be our
generation is not as your generation. But we share the same blood and the same
emotions as you do. Just because we take our own decisions, doesn't mean that
we don't need elders. It's with you people that we can see what's a complete
life. I request you to please come along with us."
I was mere audience to a fantastic family bonding. What
stood as a gap between two generations was now a thing of past. All three of
them joined for a family huddle. Uncle took them towards aunty's photograph and
said, "You enjoy up there. I will rock the show down here." Adi's kid
smiled without even one tooth in his mouth. The cute moment shall stay for a
lifetime for them. Adi came to me and said "Thanks dude." To which I
replied, "I should say thanks to you. Now can I leave tomorrow." Adi
was reluctant to send me back. But I somehow managed to convince him. The plan
to extend my holiday no more remains the same. Two days it is. The next day
when I left, the entire family came down to say good bye. For once the gaps
vanished and the two generations came closer. 5 days later, I get a call from
Adi again. This time its a good news. He said that his father is flying back
with him and will be staying with them for the rest of life. Kudos to him and
his family. Often, we follow the mind and forget our heart. Change of society
doesn't begin in a political rally or on a TV show. It begins at home. That's
what Adi and family proved. A clap is unheard until the two hands come
together. And a change is impossible, until the two generations come together.
Breaking the silence is what it takes to break a jinx. And it all begins at
home.
